Crashed Pips - Computers, politics, emetic trash

Friday, December 26, 2008

Why, In Comparison to 2007, 2008 Sucked

 

2008 was designated the International Year of Planet Earth, as well as being International Year of languages, the potato, sanitation, the frog, and the European Year of Intercultural Dialogue.

2008 was designated the International Year of Planet Earth, as well as being International Year of languages, the potato, sanitation, the frog, and the European Year of Intercultural Dialogue.

So, it’s Boxing Day. And, in my opinion, good riddance to 2008. In some ways. In some ways, 2008 was brilliant.

In political circles, for example, we proved that a mixed-race gentleman from Hawaii could fend off a grumpy old man and a hockey mom who believes dinosaurs were around 6,000 years ago, and that the secret ballot is one of the things that’s “really cool” about America. We also managed to get the LHC started up (even if it did fail afterwards), and we showed that the eucharist is what everyone thought it was already: a cracker and some dilute wine. On the technology side of things, all was not doom and gloom either: the superior format won for once in the HD-DVD/Blu-Ray format war, the MacBook got its first substantial update since 2001, WordPress got a brilliant new admin panel, Linux’s hardware support came along in leaps and bounds, and big media is finally getting the hang of using these modern TVs with typewriters attached to deliver media.

However, this was also the year the recession started to bite: with the collapse of Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, AIG, MFI, and, most recently, Woolworths, it’s been shown that the economy desperately needs some TLC. For the first time in my life, I found myself agreeing with George Bush on the financial bail-out plan - although it was unpleasant, it was necessary to stop things going from bad to worse. (As I thought that, Satan shivered and put on an extra layer of clothing, probably nabbed from the Woolworths closing down sale.)

In this blog’s métier of technology, not all has been very rosy either. Abit is to cease trading, and Microsoft is hurrying past the mess that is Vista and opening the pumps full-on to concentrate on Windows 7 - which is what they should have done with Vista. Ubuntu has released two rather disappointing releases, and Apple has also disappointed in some respects, even announcing it’s going to pull out of Macworld.

The games console front was not particularly healthy: with release after release of recycled Mario and driving material by Nintendo, who seem to have been attending the Peter Kay school of re-releasing and copying, one could be forgiven for thinking that the Wii’s programmers are starting to find their idea wells running dry. The PlayStation 3 has dominated, and Microsoft has failed to incorporate a Blu-Ray drive in the Xbox 360.

Now, I’m not famed for my gaming ability. I don’t even own a games console currently. The height of my gaming prowess extends to getting to Level 7 on Vortex, the iPod’s implementation of Breakout. However, I do know that Microsoft needs to do something about the Xbox 360 in 2009 to adjust it better to the world.

Firstly, it has to sort out the disk scratching problem, and it also has to rally behind Blu-Ray. There’s no point standing on a sinking ship: although the HD-DVD peripheral has been discontinued, they need to move to Blu-Ray. However, there’s something far more major than that.

In previous years, the Xbox 360 has had major releases every year. Call of Duty 2 and Gears of War in 2005/6, Halo 3 in 2007. This year’s flagship game, I think, was meant to be Gears of War 2 - but just compare that to previous years. Halo 3 was being released after years of hype, and Call of Duty 2 bathed in the post-launch honeymoon after the X360 was released in 2005.

So, a charismatic and historic game, about life-like soldiers from the most bloody war in Earth’s history, and a rip-roaring sci-fi adventure about a ’space marine with really cool green armor’ (their words, not mine) have been followed by a game about a fat man, whose face looks like Steve Ballmer’s office chair, where you have to look over his shoulder to see the damn targeting reticule. Ridiculous. They need to find a decent flagship game for next year.

Apple’s announcements have also been noticeably low-key this year. Steve Jobs seems to have been assigning a lot of the work at the Stevenotes to Phil Schiller, Scott Forstall, and Jonathan Jony Ive, who appears to have changed his name by deed poll into something that makes absolutely zero sense when read and mispronounced.

Apple’s product turnout this year has also been noticeably smaller: last year, we had the iPhone, new iMacs, Leopard, new iPods, iWork ‘08 and iLife ‘08. This year, we had updates to the iPhone, the MacBook Air, the Time Capsule, updates to the Apple TV, new MacBooks and 15″ MacBook Pros, and the usual crop of new iPods. It seems that Apple misfired a bit this year, but with rumours circling of a new Mac Mini and new iMacs, and possibly a netbook, at Macworld 2009 (notably without Steve Jobs, presumably much to the disappointment of his stalkers) we can only hope it gets back on track next year.

All in all, therefore, a pretty sombre year for the technology industry - the only real source of excitement has been the sheer number of ridiculous web 2.0 startups. Was it the recession? Possibly. Here’s to a more exciting 2008.



Friday, November 7, 2008

Goodbye, IE6

Filed under: Internet, Microsoft — Tags: , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 18:23

Just a quick note to say that Internet Explorer 6 and earlier users will now be presented with a warning when visiting this site - telling them that their browser is outdated and probably a security risk to their own computers.

If you can’t upgrade to Internet Explorer 7 (or 8) then try Firefox, Safari, or Opera. If you can’t use any of those (eg you are still using Windows ME, 98 or earlier) then you really should consider upgrading your computer, or at the very least replacing your operating system with something more up-to-date, like Xubuntu.



Monday, September 29, 2008

Microsoft ad FAIL continues in earnest

Filed under: Microsoft — Tags: , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 01:02

I’m aware that I’ve been blogging far too much about Microsoft’s ad campaigns lately. But - hey -  they’re so laughable they’re practically an endless source of material.

Firstly, here’s a video of the (surprisingly) rejected version of the first Seinfeld advert, with a slightly alternate ending.

Then we come to the new “I’m a PC” ads. These seem to be a bit better, but the “I’m a PC” bit at the beginning, which should be a dig at Apple, sounds far too defensive.

Also, somewhat amusingly, the new ads were authored not using Expression Media on Vista, but on Adobe Photoshop CS3: Macintosh Edition. (It’s true. I’ve checked the metadata.)

Overall, this ad campaign’s becoming a bit embarassing for MS. This is even discounting the fact the new slogan, Windows: Life without walls, makes no sense. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t a window need a wall to be installed and mounted in? Otherwise it is merely a pane of glass.



Monday, September 22, 2008

Microsoft’s New Ad Campaign

Filed under: Humour, Microsoft — Tags: , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 17:21

Yes, it appears the Borg have dumped Seinfeld. And the Beastmaster. A shame. I was rather warming to them. Well, no I wasn’t. I was warming to Bill Gates’s presence. Not Seinfeld’s.

Either way, they now have a new campaign, which is clearly a dig at Apple’s Get a Mac campaign. Put simply, a man who looks like PC Guy stands in front of the camera and says “I’m a PC, and I feel persecuted. Wah wah. Give me a cuddle, Mummy.” (OK, I made that last bit up.) Then we see other people saying they’re also a PC.

Not only this, MS actually wants you to help with its new ad campaign, allowing you to submit a short video explaining what sort of PC you are. Clever. I therefore propose this script.

Hello, I’m a PC. And yes, I am this slim, I’m not using TV trickery. Fat PC’s off sick. Again.

I feel persecuted. Not because of anti-Vista snobbery - in fact, I dislike Vista. It’s slow and puts too much of a strain on my resources. I mean, a 128mB+ of graphics memory for the compositor? Come on!

I feel persecuted because no-one makes drivers for Linux. That said, if I get the right drivers (which is, to be fair, pot luck) I’m way, way speedier than Vista. I also play nicely with Mac. We’re cousins.

Now naff off and blend your Vista DVD.

Fickle, no? I take cheque or cash, Monkey Boy…



Saturday, September 6, 2008

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Filed under: Microsoft — Tags: , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 02:07

Just when you thought Microsoft’s advertising couldn’t get any worse after the appalling “Mojave Experiment” campaign… well… take a look for yourself.

Yes, that is Jerry Seinfeld showing Bill Gates how to buy shoes. And yes, that is Windows - being described as DELICIOUS!? What the hell were they thinking? Seinfeld finished years ago and isn’t really known outside of the USA, the poor Beastmaster looks befuddled and confused (uncannily like Terry Wogan) throughout the ad, and Windows is not even mentioned. The people who came up with this should be hunted down and shot, and then have their testicles turned into stressbusters for Steve Ballmer in case he hears the words Chrome or Macintosh.

That really is an appalling ad.



Wednesday, July 16, 2008

More proof of Vista’s failure

Filed under: Microsoft, Windows — Tags: , , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 20:46

One knows a client operating system has failed when it actually becomes more efficient to adapt the server version of said operating system to perform a similar function. And, it would seem, some have become so infuriated with Vista that they’ve forked out the extra £300 or so for Windows Server 2008, and then transformed that installation into something that has the same smoke and mirrors as Vista, but underneath retains the speedy, powerful core of Windows Server.

The sheer fact that a server OS works better as a workstation OS than the specialist client OS is truly embarassing for Microsoft, and they will certainly need to make Windows 7 a lot, lot better if they’re to avoid further damage.



Friday, June 27, 2008

The Borg is leaving the house

Filed under: Microsoft — Tags: , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 21:41

So, today was Bill Gates’s last ‘official’ day at Microsoft. He’s now spending the rest of his life giving away his money to deprived people.

However, the departure of Bill Gates is going to be bad for Microsoft. The Beastmaster at least had some idea what businesses and users wanted in the product, and shared some of their frustration with himself; an internal e-mail, dug up by a Seattle newspaper recently, complained to some of his colleagues that he was experiencing extreme difficulty downloading the latest version of Movie Maker. He wasn’t what you’d call an innovator, but he certainly capitalised very well on the demands for programming languages, OSes and office software.

I really can’t think of anything very original to say about Mr. Gates, because his life has been documented down to practically every detail in the media. However, I will say this: Gates’s (sometimes selfish and ruthless) streak has certainly made him one of the most successful businessmen of all time - an amazing achievement for someone who dropped out of college.

Original image by Kees de Vos on Flickr. Used under license.



Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Deal or No Deal, Yahoo?

Filed under: Internet, Microsoft — Tags: , , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 00:37

Jerry Yang ponders Ballamer\'s offer.

This is starting to get more and more interesting. Steve Ballamer has written to Yahoo!’s board of directors, effectively bemoaning the fact that they didn’t manage to obtain the Board’s endorsement of their proposed takeover at $31 per share.

I shan’t go into the details here, but I think a Microsoft and Yahoo alliance would be incredibly ineffective. Both do better as independent companies, and adding Yahoo onto Microsoft would add more bloat onto an (already bloated) company. Although, to be fair, most of M$’s bloat consists of lawyers and those idiots who come up with names for features. Like “ReadyBoost(tm)”. Somewhere, out there, a marketing committee is still patting themselves on the back for that. Ugh.

Original image by Mitchell Aidelbaum on Flickr, modified under licence.



Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Office Live Workspaces

Filed under: Internet, Microsoft, Software — Tags: , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 18:46

I finally got into Office Live Workspaces today, after having Microsoft lose my password, refuse to reset the password in Firefox, and then repeatedly advertise a sweepstakes I’m not eligible for as I live outside the USA. Simply put, this does not impress me.

However, I got the chance to give Office Live Workspaces a try. And, to put it perfectly frankly, I am very disappointed.

Firstly, you cannot create documents ‘on-site’ - they must be imported from your computer. This appears to be a ploy to tie you into using Office for this, as I couldn’t import a .doc file created in TextEdit. In fact, I couldn’t import anything.

Bar this, it is also mind-bogglingly slow and cumbersome. There are still many bugs and rendering issues, and it ran like a snail for me. The latency was ridiculous.

Some Outlook-like features, such as tasks, calendar appointments and lists are available. They are rubbish. They’re slow, require you to use the mouse a lot of the time, often randomly scroll down beyond the edge of the page, and also are mind-numbingly basic and slow.

I am very disappointed with Office Live Workspaces, and don’t think Google Docs or ThinkFree have anything to worry about. It’s very slow, very uninspiring, and somewhat sad that I can’t write a glowing review of it. It really is one of the worst pieces of web software Microsoft has produced. Probably one of the worst pieces of office software too, going up there with ad-supported Works and Office 2008 for the Mac.

Put simply, it sucks. Don’t bother.



Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Singularity

Filed under: Microsoft — Tags: , , , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 21:49

I thought the new base for Microsoft Windows, due to appear in Windows 7, would be called MinWin. Apparently not. Now it’s called Singularity. Somewhat like a black hole, then: perhaps the distortion of light around the event horizon means you’ll never see anything happening in it.

Nevertheless, I am interested. Its source code has been released on CodePlex (I’m dubious to call it open-source, because its license is so restrictive) and I’ve downloaded a copy. I can’t test it at the moment (I’m on my iMac) so I’ll have to infer what it’s like to use from the building/running HOWTO Microsoft bundles with it.

Perhaps one of the reasons MinWin became Singularity was because it sounded too much like Minix. Well, they’ve certainly ballsed that concept up. There is mention in the manual of an app called bootd.exe, which sounds suspiciously like Darwin’s launchd (the init daemon on Mac OS X and other Darwin-based OSes). However, it performs nothing like the function of launchd: it is simply the network boot daemon, and doesn’t seem to spawn any processes.

Singularity only currently uses a command prompt, which strongly indicates that this time the graphics system might be kept out of the kernel, in a similar way to X (ie it will become an independent process). At present, Windows’s window manager is speedy (except with WDDM) because it uses kernel-based graphic functions, meaning that you can simply syscall the graphics and have done with it.

Something that surprises me is that the kernel is loaded so late into the boot process: the 16-bit and 32-bit bootloaders come first, before starting the hardware abstraction layer and then passing control to the kernel, which starts the shell. I don’t claim to be an OS technician, so I don’t know if this is how Windows normally works, but I am almost certain that Unix does not work in this way. Unixes start the bootloader, immediately load the kernel and then begin adding the smoke and mirrors later. A bit like putting up the frame to a marquee and then putting things in it.

It’s very hard to make a judgement on Singularity without using it, but I shall be very interested to see the outcome of this little project.



Older Posts »

Powered by WordPress 2.7 Comments are the responsibility of their respective author. The Rest © 2007-2009 Jonathan Rothwell, unless otherwise stated.