Crashed Pips - Computers, politics, emetic trash

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

What MPs do in their summer holidays

Filed under: Humour, Politics, Television — Tags: , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 15:11

I have made perhaps the most revelatory discovery in the history of British politics: I have conclusively discovered where MPs go during the Parliamentary summer recess.

It seems obvious to me that they tried to mask their identity, but they weren’t fooling anyone: it was a particularly bad move for them to choose to be in the audience of a Saturday night primetime lottery show hosted by Tess Daly. However, with proper behaviour, their presence could have been masked: instead, they foolishly behaved in the same way they do in the House of Commons, thus revealing their identity.

Parliament spotted in the audience for <i>The National Lottery: This Time Tomorrow</i>. Their presence is obvious with the shouting and the waving about of pieces of paper. © BBC 2008 - used fairly for critical analysis under UK law.

Parliament spotted in the audience for The National Lottery: This Time Tomorrow. Their presence is obvious with the shouting and the waving about of pieces of paper. © BBC 2008 - used fairly for critical analysis under UK law.

Gotcha.

Have Your Say: Vote in the Poll

[poll id="3"]



Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Senescence of ITV

Filed under: Television — Tags: , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 18:52
Kent House, the home of ITV. Image courtesy of <a href=

Kent House, the home of ITV. Image courtesy of The JPS. Modified under license.

It’s official: ITV is dying. We’ve known it for some time, but the story has been confirmed by the figures. It’s depressing to see that a company with such a rich heritage may well go down the pan, but in my opinion, it’s something that there may be a solution to.

Rewind your minds back around fifteen, twenty years. In these days, ITV plc did not exist. Each ITV region had its programming managed by an independent comapny. For example, until 1993, programming in London was managed by Thames Television (now talkbackTHAMES) on weekdays, and LWT from Friday evening to the end of the week. In all the other regions, a single company controlled programming around the clock - for example, until 1993, programming in the South West was managed by TSW. Each regional station produced its own local news, and for national news, all the regions simeltaneously crossed to ITN.

However, over the period from the commencement of the 1993 onwards franchise period, ITV had been deregulated, and the companies began to huddle together and conglomerate. This was mostly led by Granada in the North West, and Carlton in London. The process was completed in 2004 when Granada and Carlton merged into a single company, and formed ITV plc.

Since then, things have gone downhill, drastically. Programme quality had been declining ever since conglomeration began in the early 1990s, but now it accellerated. This combined with the economic slowdown of recent months means that ITV is starting to collapse, and fast.

There’s no denying that the conglomeration was a mess. ITV is now finding it difficult to run a profitable business and fulfil its public service broadcaster remit to produce a certain amount of regional programming and current affairs programming.

Therefore, it seems to me that ITV has three options open to it.

  • The first would be for ITV to do nothing, and continue as it is. This would mean almost certain ruin for the network.
  • The second, and most likely, option, is that ITV will ask for its PSB status to be removed. This will remove its franchises for the Channel 3 multiplex, and will mean that ITV1 gets moved back to the very back of the digital terrestrial channels (or, god forbid, on to subscription services). This could open the way for a new system, from scratch, similar to the old franchise system where each component of the network was served by a different company.
  • The third option would be for ITV to bring out the corporate cleaver, and slice itself into tiny little pieces, to create something not dissimilar to the old arrangement of different companies shuttling around tapes and producing home-grown programmes. This would be a big risk, but it might well pay off - it’s more economical to produce regional programming if headquarters is in the relevant region.

I don’t claim to be an economist, but I am certain that ITV in ten years or so will be very different to the ITV we see today.



Friday, May 2, 2008

Jeremy Vine on Election Night

Filed under: Politics, Television, The News — Tags: , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 12:40

Here’s Jeremy Vine making a fool of himself on Election Night. Last time it was a rapping Ming Campbell, now… he’s wearing a Stetson hat and shooting cans to represent the Lib Dems’ result. Apologies about the solitary (poor quality) capture, this was shot from the News 24 online feed.

It’s a shame Have I Got News for You isn’t recorded on Friday afternoon, not Thursday evening. Bring back Peter Snow.



Saturday, April 26, 2008

Spotted at a branch of PC World last week

Filed under: Humour, Television — Tags: , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 12:15

This image makes me wonder:

  • what the appeal of having X Factor branding on the memory stick is
  • what the appeal of having transparent red plastic on the memory stick is
  • what the appeal of having footage of people who think they sing but can’t loaded onto the stick, which you can already watch on YouTube (if you’re that dumb) for free



Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I Am Not Alone

Filed under: Television — Tags: — Jonathan Rothwell @ 21:17

It seems I am not alone in my irritation with The Last Enemy.

Reading next week’s copy of the Radio Times, I can see that some people are so irritated by the programme that they have written into the magazine, whose letters page is normally filled with people saying that either a) the BBC is insulting Christianity and has an anti-God vendetta or b) the license fee (or, as they call it, the TV TAX) is a manifest of the Devil and should be abolished.

Hands up to all who made it through the first episode of The Last Enemy.

I didn’t have a clue what was going on, which was a problem, but I was able to discern a series of stilted scenes full of awkward dialogue and unlikely events, including the classic “two characters suddenly sleep together just because one of them’s a bit upset”. Everyone was very shady and mysterious; it was all so fragmented that I couldn’t summon the energy to discover what they were up to.

We’ve had conspiracy thrillers about politics, the media and nuclear power. For a long time, this seemed to be railing against the dead threat of people in leather gloves having conversations in cafes. And pity poor Benedict Cumberbatch, a fine actor lumbered with a clichéd character: a hermit-like mathematician who has to leave his cosy world of formulae and get his hands dirty, which will be difficult, as he obsessively washes his hands every five minutes!

Drama should grab your attention within minutes and make you intrigued to discover what happens next, but this programme seemed to go out of its way to annoy us into switching off.

Brian Wilkinson, Reading, Berks.

All perfectly valid and commendable points. But the next one takes a more technical (albeit very obvious) stance:

In two different dramas on successive nights - The Last Enemy [on Sundays] and The Palace [Mondays on ITV1] - an intruder was able to enter a principal character’s home, switch on their laptop and immediately gain access to the files therein. Neither character had set an ‘administrator’ password; since they were, respectively, an anally retentive mathematician and a private secretary to a reigning monarch, this lack of attention to basic IT security was incredible.

I can only conclude that the writers concerned have never used a PC and laboriously inscribe their scripts into an exercise book using a quill pen.

Edwin Smith

Even if no root password was set, or even (God forbid) no user password, the video app probably wouldn’t have started immediately when the laptop computer’s lid was opened. So it seems I’m not alone in my criticism.



Monday, February 25, 2008

Why The Last Enemy Is So Bloody Awful

Filed under: Television — Tags: — Jonathan Rothwell @ 20:02

If you’ve been watching BBC1’s new ‘thriller’ (ha!) The Last Enemy, you’ll know that it’s not particularly thrilling. For something that bases its plot around IT, it shows appalling knowledge of technology on the artists’ and directors’ part, and generally has a very ropey plotline full of holes.

(more…)



Sunday, February 24, 2008

Latest search stats madness

Filed under: Television — Tags: — Jonathan Rothwell @ 22:13

Someone please tell me how someone managed to reach this blog using the search terms ‘helen fospero cum’.



Thursday, January 17, 2008

Yahoo fancies Geraint…

Filed under: Humour, Internet, Television — Tags: , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 18:57

I find this amusing, if somewhat disturbing. This is what appears on Yahoo’s search assistant feature when you search for ITN reporter Geraint Vincent.

Geraint Vincent on Yahoo Search

I think some people must be getting far too excited in the middle of News at Ten. Nevertheless, I would commend the suggestion that for one evening he reads the news naked - not to watch the bulletin (it’ll be ITV’s usual carp) but to watch Richard Littlejohn’s reaction afterwards. I’d quite like to see his head transform into a beetroot.

P.S. To those who want an answer to the question: no, he is not married. Yes, he does have a girlfriend. No, he is not gay. And yes, you must be incredibly lonely to be seeking marriage to a newsreader.



Monday, January 14, 2008

Dirty tricks by the BBC?

Filed under: Television, The News — Tags: , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 17:04

Hmm… the BBC are advertising a special report on Zimbabwe and a main feature on Madeleine McCann for tonight’s Ten O’Clock News. Which conveniently coincides with the much-trumpeted return of News at Ten on ITV1.

So, are the BBC trying to attract ITV viewers to draw as much attention away from NaT’s return as possible? It would seem so. However, intelligent, non-Daily Mail reading people (like myself, although I’m not sure I fall into the former category) will be repulsed by it and switch to ITV1 when - voíla! - Trevor McDonald and Julie Etchingham will be presenting a non-sensationalist, balanced, well-presented bulletin.

Or, at least, that’s what the trailers would have us think. We live in hope.



Tuesday, December 11, 2007

al-Qaeda attacks Algiers

Filed under: Television, The News — Tags: , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 18:11

I’ve just heard news of a car bomb attack in Algeria. Of course, I can’t say very much to add to the news reports about this - except my opinion that to have it as a five-minute item on the BBC Six O’Clock News followed by a story about house prices is a disgrace. If this had happened in, say, London or New York, there would be an immediate news report breaking into all the channels and pretty much constant coverage for hours on hours.



Older Posts »

Powered by WordPress 2.7 Comments are the responsibility of their respective author. The Rest © 2007-2009 Jonathan Rothwell, unless otherwise stated.