Hi, I’m Jonathan. That’s your lot.
What’s your favourite colour?
Ooh, how probing. It’s blue.
Does that mean you support the Conservatives?
No.
I really want to marry you.
No.
Does that mean you’re gay/bi?
No.
Do you need viagra?
No. You are now being redirected to /dev/null.
Will you fix my computer for me?
No.
Your website sucks.
Then try looking here.
Are you paying too much on your car insurance?
Once you’ve grasped the concept of trains you don’t worry too much about that sort of thing.
Who are you?
I am a human being from the planet Earth. When I’m not working, you’ll find me pressing buttons trying to get computers to work, or firing blogging bullets (out of a cannon) at things like the BNP, the Daily Mail, Microsoft etc on this web site.
What kind of computer do you use?
At present, my primary system is an iMac DV SE 450. It has a 12.7gB hard disk, uses a PowerPC G3 processor clocked at 450mHz, and has RAM bumped to 384mB. It runs Mac OS X 10.4 “Tiger”. Connected are a Bluetooth adapter, a Canon Pixma MP150 MFD, and an 800gB Freecom DataTank disk array (the ANNEXE).
The machine’s name is “Welchman”, after Gordon Welchman, a mathematician involved in the creation of Alan Turing’s bombe machine, which was responsible for assisting the breaking of the Nazi Enigma ciphers during World War II.
Along with Welchman, I have an Asus Eee PC 4G, running Fedora 10. It is named after Richard Hammond, a presenter of the BBC’s Top Gear motoring programme. (He’s often chided by the other hosts of the show, James May and Jeremy Clarkson, for being ’small’, despite the fact Hammond is average height and has described Clarkson as being “eighteen feet tall”.)
An (old) picture of my computer set can be seen here.
What theme does this blog use?
Presently, this blog is using a defaced version of WordPress Classic. In the past, Crashed Pips has (in order) used the themes Kubrick, Contempt, Freshy, Avenir (custom built) and Carrington.
What software does the blog use?
The blog runs completely on WordPress. It uses some plug-ins to obtain additional functionality, and the shop is outsourced to amazon.co.uk. The blog is written primarily using Safari 3 and Firefox on an iMac DV 450 running Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger, and Firefox 3 on Fedora 10 running on an Asus Eee PC, although frequently also authored using Firefox and Internet Explorer on Windows XP and Windows Vista.
Why’s it called Crashed Pips? What are pips? Why have they crashed?
The name comes from BBC folklore, involving the top-of-the-hour time signals on BBC Radio. These are nicknamed the ‘pips’, and ‘crashing’ them, that is, talking or playing a record over them, is considered a cardinal sin. Taping the pips is a sackable offence.
The BBC does not endorse and has no connection with this Web site.
Why hasn’t my comment appeared on the site?
Anything goes for a comment on this site, as long as it is legal (which goes without saying) and isn’t spam. Please note, though, that comments must be moderated before they can be published, and the editor reserves the right to disapprove comments at his discretion.
This web site does have a comment blacklist, which, in the interests of transparency, is made public here.
I’m a lawyer representing [insert person's name here]. You published a comment on your website that amounts to libel and slander, and I am suing you on behalf of my client for the sum of… ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
You mean… ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS.
Unless I wrote the comment, I cannot take responsibility or accept liability for it. Comments are the pure responsibility of the poster of the comment. The only comments that are censored are those that are illegal and those that are spam.
If you do want to sue someone for damages, you’d be better off suing the person who posted the comment. Please contact me with your credentials if you need the IP address/details of the poster of said comment.
And now for some pictures.
This is a Uniross brand rechargeable ‘AA’ type cell.
And this is the reverse side of a 3.5″ floppy diskette.
