Crashed Pips - Computers, politics, emetic trash

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Caption competition

Filed under: Competitions, Humour — Tags: , , , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 01:04

I’m likely to post little over the next week or so, as I’ll be in Devon, quite inconveniently, and how much I post depends entirely on the density of 3G coverage.

In the meantime, to liven things up a little, let’s have a caption competition!

Original image by ElinorD on Wikimedia Commons. Modified under license. An octopus in a zoo, discerningly eyeing the photographer.

Original image by ElinorD on Wikimedia Commons. Modified under license. An octopus in a zoo, discerningly eyeing the photographer.

Submit your entries using the comments form below. Entries should be in by 6pm on Friday, and by Sunday I should have chosen a winner. If I’m not feeling particularly stingey, that winner might obtain something more tangible than a small quantity of kudos.



Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Google and naming inconveniences

Filed under: Internet, Politics, The News — Tags: , , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 22:34

I have made a discovery on the Internet. It is Very Very Interesting. So Very Very Interesting in fact, that I have decided to write a blog post about this Very Very Interesting topic. That said, I won’t do a Jeremy Clarkson style “I had a look on the Internet this week, and I found this! <audience laughs, gasps in shock, groans in revulsion>”. It is simply a Very Very Interesting topic.

As you may well know if you live in the Glasgow East parliamentary constituency, there will be a by-election tomorrow. Labour are expected to perform poorly, and the Lib Dems are expected to come either third or fourth.

Most agree that one day, the Liberal Democrat candidate, Ian Robertson, will become a successful politician. Indeed, I hope he does: the Liberal Democrats are currently the least BS-filled political party about.

However, whilst looking for information on him this evening, I found something Very Very Interesting.

I decided to use a FWSE* to query “Ian Robertson” in said FWSE’s index. The FWSE returned a results page, which I found Very Very Interesting.

There are no less than eleven other Ian Robertsons who appeared before the Mr. Robertson’s little corner of the WWW protocol network. These Ian Robertsons include a psychology professor, a sports newsreader on BBC Radio Five Live, an obscure actor, a Kiwi photographer, a landscape gardener, and, perhaps most bizarrely, a man who is a masseur, yoga teacher, photographer and Unix expert all at the same time. The last actually lives in Scotland.

This is, of course, not a new phenomenon. James O’Malley fashioned an entire post out of name-sharing, entitled Picking on people who share names with bastards. However, with him buried so deep in Google search results, it’s no surprise he’s not likely to win the by-election tomorrow.

Interestingly, Mr. Robertson has a Twitter feed. Is the image of ‘over capacity’ and ‘unreliable’ and ‘cute’ one Mr. Robertson wants to portray to voters? Oh, well. Barack Obama’s going through it too.

*Don’t get this? You haven’t been reading the New Scientist for long enough.



Saturday, July 19, 2008

What Operating System Do You Use? (A.K.A. the Shameless Test of the WP-Polls plugin)

Filed under: Software — Tags: — Jonathan Rothwell @ 12:40

I’ve installed the WP-Polls plugin on this web site. As administration goes, it’s not bad at all, although I think there are several WordPress 2.6 compatibility issues that need to be ironed out.

So, with this in mind, I’m running a simple test to see how well WP-Polls will perform. If it does well, polling may become a regular feature on this Web site.

The usual disclaimers apply: ballot stuffing is possible, and the whole thing will be wildly inaccurate. Don’t use this in any serious research unless you’re writing about website polling or Crashed Pips.

[poll id="2"]

As is tradition, if you’re using an ‘Other’ operating system, then feel free to drop something about it in the foxpotting Comments section below.



Friday, July 18, 2008

Goodbye, Mouse?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 18:17

According to this BBC News article, Gartner analyst Steve Prentice predicts the mouse will be dead within five years. He claims that multi-touch interfaces (such as those on some modern smartphones including the OpenMoko and the iPhone) and three-dimensional controllers will eventually take over from the mouse’s position as the de facto dimensional pointing device for modern computing system.

However, I’m a little sceptical, and there’s a simple reason for this: the problem of familiarity. Many people refuse to use new concepts simply because they’re unfamiliar with them. This is why the QWERTY keyboard layout persists to this day, despite the fact that some people find the Dvorak Simplified layout to be more efficient. It’s because people simply prefer the layout they’re familiar with. (With regards to this, I find the QWERTY layout to be more efficient, personally, because I find it’s easier to perch four fingers on ‘ASDF’ than to perch fingers and thumbs on ‘AOEUI’.)

The problem is that the computer environment is still largely 2D environment. We still only generally go left and right and up and down - this is largely due to the constraint of working on a 2D screen. Although touch displays are becoming more common, they generally lack an ability to perform a secondary or teritary click, and people may find it more ergonomic to use a mouse than to reach across their desk to touch their computer screen.

That said, 3D interfaces are becoming more common. Mac OS X’s Time Machine backup system has a beautiful 3D interface, and Windows Vista’s new task switcher, Flip 3D, also uses a 3D interface. Accellerometer mice are becoming more common (hardhack sites are overflowing with howtos) and this makes it quite possible that 3D mice could be common within the next decade or so. With this in mind, I think it’s quite likely that to use Time Machine in Mac OS X 10.12 “Snagglepuss” released in 2017, you could lift the mouse from the desk, hold it vertically parallel to the screen, and hurl it forwards or backwards to browse backups from the past.



News round-up for week commencing 14 July 2008

Here’s this week’s weekly news round-up, and we begin with a continuation of Crackergate from last week. The Republican National Convention, which will be held in the Xcel Center, across the road from the Science Museum of Minnesota, has stepped up security, including the ludicrous step of getting the Science Museum to close to the public. Do they expect mutant scientists to emerge from the museum with octopus armies and test-tube cannons? If so, then Jeremy Clarkson’s claim that, in some parts of America, some people must have started mating with vegetables might well turn out to be true.

In technology news, E3 was this week, and there’s been the typical fest of corporate cock-waving that usually takes place at these conferences. There was an unfortunate incident where the soul singer Duffy was asked by confused journalists about the company strategy and corporate characteristics of a company whose product she was promoting - whoops…

In the world of chip-making, AMD has found a ten-pound note on the road, and has decided to spend it making more Phenoms (the high-end triple- and quad-core processors) and launching a new mobile platform to compete with the Centrino. It’s called the Turion X2 64 Ultra, and I can’t really think what else to say. And AMD wonder why they’re making losses. Intel, on the other hand, is doing quite well with profits up 25%.

Borgsoft hasn’t been doing too well either.

In the metablogosphere, WordPress 2.6 has been  released. It includes a host of new features, such as the fixing of several bugs in the admin panel, and a new version control feature called Post Revisions.

In politics, it turns out the MoD has lost over 100 USB flash disks, some of which had sensitive data on them. This is getting quite silly now. And the Government has claimed it hasn’t made a decision yet on whether or not it will change its own borrowing rules. Overall, a bit of a fiasco, then.

In other news, the latest edition of Simon’s Cat has appeared online, having been premiered on The Culture Show on BBC Two on Tuesday. Keeping in with this theme, some lolcats have wormed their way into this site lately, so I shall now go hunting for them and put them somewhere else.



Wednesday, July 16, 2008

More proof of Vista’s failure

Filed under: Microsoft, Windows — Tags: , , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 20:46

One knows a client operating system has failed when it actually becomes more efficient to adapt the server version of said operating system to perform a similar function. And, it would seem, some have become so infuriated with Vista that they’ve forked out the extra £300 or so for Windows Server 2008, and then transformed that installation into something that has the same smoke and mirrors as Vista, but underneath retains the speedy, powerful core of Windows Server.

The sheer fact that a server OS works better as a workstation OS than the specialist client OS is truly embarassing for Microsoft, and they will certainly need to make Windows 7 a lot, lot better if they’re to avoid further damage.



Monday, July 14, 2008

Why I Dislike KDE

Filed under: Linux, Software, UNIX — Tags: , , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 18:42

In the world of *nix FOSS desktop environments, you generally have three choices - you can use GNOME, KDE or cobble together something from the various window mangers, file managers and other trimmings available out there on the Internet. The latter is the most complicated, and the first two are the most well-integrated and most convenient, which is why they are more likely to be tied to distributions.

There’s often in-fighting between GNOME and KDE users about whose desktop environment is best. A bit like the vi vs. emacs argument. Each environment has its own advantages, but each has his own preference.

Linus Torvalds, the creator of the Linux kernel, is a vehement KDE supporter. He dislikes the fact that GNOME is less configurable than KDE and that it apparently mollycoddles its users.

However, I’m on the opposite side of things. There are many things I dislike about KDE, and I’m going to list some of them here.

For starters, it seems to be very egotistical. Everything has some connection to the letter K, and it’s just ridiculously in-your-face and n00b-unfriendly. Remember that the average Joe User can’t tell the difference between his OS and his desktop environment, so there must be a lot of ‘K’ keys on keyboards out there with worn out springs.

Another irritation is its pointless flamboyance. Why does the tooltip automatically animate on with a circles animation? Why is there a silly bouncing icon next to the cursor when an app is started? This is pointless. There’s no reason why it can’t be available if asked for, but the eye candy switched on by default should only be that that is explicitly productive.

Then we come to Konqueror, The Most Pointless Piece Of Software In History. I don’t want to use my file browser as a web browser! You might as well go the full hog and get it to launch every application within itself when a document is selected. And Konqueror’s HTML rendering is sometimes simply awful. And why perform this function when Firefox will do exactly the same?

Another thing that irks me is that it’s just plain ugly. Most of it looks like a cheap rip-off of Vista/OS X, but so poorly executed it’s laughable.

Take this screenshot of KDE4’s default desktop as an example.

I mean, look at that. It’s awful. The default choice of font is awful (why not FreeSans?) and I detest the kickoff button and the clock. I mean, why does the taskbar have to be SO big? It’s twice as big as it needs to be, and that little reflection, both on the taskbar buttons and at the top of the panel, is completely and utterly awful.

True, GNOME uses a font like Verdana as its default, but it’s easier to change. And KDE is also far more buggy than GNOME in my experience, and it also seems ridiculously unprofessional.

I mean, why have a dragon amongst some clouds in the login window by default? Cutesy mascots should NOT be default. And when I installed Kubuntu in a virtual machine not so long ago, I was continuously plagued by sound problems, ugly notifications and the fact that KDE had lost its helpfile index.

In a way, KDE is like that idiot who used to be in your science class at school. He would always be the only person in the school to break the class cock-o-meter, would spend most of his day farting around and being an idiot, and then complain to the teacher because he hasn’t got a pencil. KDE is just so unprofessional and pointlessly flamboyant and bloated, I simply can’t see why anyone would describe it as ’sexy’.



Sunday, July 13, 2008

Now running WordPress 2.6-RC1

Filed under: Administration — Tags: , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 12:13

This site is now running WordPress 2.6 RC1 - and, quite satisfyingly, it now has a word count in the edit page, post revisions, and all sorts of other delights, including - for you, dear readers - faster page load times.

You’ll also note that the logo has been revised. Graphite-tastic…

Update at 1630GMT: Please note that the terms and conditions have been revised slightly, to accomodate for the now-public Crashed Pips Killfile Dungeon. It’s full of the unsavouries which are in the comment blacklist, for various reasons.

Update at 2238GMT: Some more functional additions to the blog now include the return of the Share This button, and some new, stylish drop caps on the posts. Oooh… shiny…



Saturday, July 12, 2008

Introducing Seat Graffiti: A Small Benchmarking App

Filed under: Software — Tags: , , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 18:58

Last week, I found myself with three evaluation machines and no way to compare their performance out of the box. Oh, dear.

I could have used Sysmark or 3DMark. However, there are problems with these:

  • They cost money
  • They lack a fine level of control over what I could make them do
  • They cost money

I needed something quick and dirty. So I wrote Seat Graffiti. It’s a little piece of software, written in C, which does some basic benchmarking tests. And, just because I’m kind, it’s open-source and in the public domain.

Here’s its webpage. I’ll update it with new releases when I can be bothered, which probably won’t be very often. And there’s several caveats and missing features, but at least it’s free.



Ubuntu Netbook Remix: Very Interesting

Filed under: Linux — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Jonathan Rothwell @ 13:36

I’ve just installed bits of Ubuntu Netbook Remix on Hammond (the Eee PC). And my God, is it beautiful. Just look at it! Look at it!

OMG just LOOK at it!

And look at what it looks like when a window is open! Look at it… it’s unbelievably slick!

What Firefox looks like in Ubuntu Netbook Remix.

Note how smoothly the window picker slips into the Firefox window! It’s stunning!

That said, it’s by no means perfect, yet. The installation process is rather messy at the moment, but by the time Ubuntu 8.10 Intrepid Ibex appears (in October) it should be a painless process. At present, one has to

  1. Add the repository to /etc/apt/sources.list
  2. Disable Compiz
  3. Install all the packages EXCEPT ume-config
  4. Add maximus to the session startup script
  5. Rearrange the panels
  6. Log out and in
  7. Set the theme to Human Netbook
  8. Add favourites and launch them to get rid of the irritating star emblem
  9. Set the wallpaper to something prettier, but set it to “Center” or “Stretch”, otherwise it will be ugly
  10. Restart the computer and hope nothing breaks

However, after that, everything appears in the shiny newness you see here. However, there are still a couple of rough edges:

What’s wrong here is that there’s nothing there to stop the icon labels if their text overflows into the space occupied by the icon immediately below. Here’s another caveat:

Misplaced scrollbar

The problem here is that the scrollbar has badly misplaced itself - outside the box. However, this strangely manages to look artistic, somewhat like one of those silly installations at the Tate Modern.

What you see here is ume-launcher, Canonical’s answer to the default Asus Eee launcher. Personally, I think it beats the Eee launcher hands down.

There’s also the window picker applet at the top, which is specially designed for small screens, and maximus, somethig that maximises every window to make the best use of available screen space.

The reason it all looks so pretty is because of the new system it uses. It’s called Clutter, and uses OpenGL to render truly stunning user interface graphics. Somewhere on the Internet, there is a demo floating about of a GDM theme using Clutter - it looks simply stunning. The animations for ume-launcher are still a bit messy in some places, but my God are they beautiful.

It easily beats the Eee’s ugly default launcher, in my opinion. But there are still a few things I think wouldn’t go amiss in ume-launcher:

  • Customisable menus
  • A search box in, say, the corner of the ‘window’, above the shortcut to the home folder, which links to Tracker
  • (Very) occasionally, maximus plays up and doesn’t maximise windows properly.
  • A better file manager than Nautilus. Howsabout something using Miller columns, to make things more space-effective?

Other than these small gripes, I’m finding it difficult to fault, even at this early release. I suspect the final version that will appear with Intrepid will be even more shiny and wonderful.



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